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Personal History
His background is interesting and eclectic.
He was raised on a farm in Nebraska. His childhood from all outside
appearances was an idyllic, middle class, "Norman Rockwell", all-American
upbringing with both parents present and no overt dysfunction. He
participated in 4-H and little league baseball and in sports, theater,
and student government in high school. He became very interested
in politics through the influence of his grandfather who was a long-time
Lieutenant Governor and, due to the death of his predecessor, for several
months Governor of Nebraska. The first outward sign that Robert's
path was veering from the norm came as a freshman at Creighton University
in Omaha when he was one of the founders of Creighton Students for Human
Relations, one of the University's first Civil Rights organizations.
In that freshman year, he became very involved in theater and through the
influence of a dynamic French teacher made plans to study at The Sorbonne
in Paris his sophomore year. Those plans did not work out and because
of that disappointment and disillusionment with the University's response
to his participation in marches, protests, and attempts to reform student
government, he transferred to the University of Nebraska for his sophomore
year.
There he continued his activism for a while, even
serving as a delegate to the state Democratic convention, but after the
trauma of 1968 with assassinations, riots, and the election of Richard
Nixon, he withdrew from activism and spent his remaining college days mostly
drinking and partying. He was in Air Force ROTC because of a strong
desire to fly (which he later realized was about his spiritual quest and
not about airplanes) and because of the draft. Although he was opposed
to the war in Viet Nam, his low number in the draft lottery convinced him
to join the Air Force rather that be drafted into the army. Robert
was commissioned as an Air force officer on the same day he received his
Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science.
He entered Air Force pilots training and was flying
solo in jet aircraft before being medically eliminated because of allergies.
He was then assigned to an Intelligence wing where he held one of the highest
security clearances available. After receiving an early discharge
because of the de-escalation in Viet Nam, he entered graduate school.
He got involved with the American Indian Movement in the spring of 1973
during their occupation of the village of Wounded Knee in South Dakota.
He left graduate school and went to South Dakota to fly an air drop of
supplies but the siege ended a few days after his arrival. He remained
actively involved with AIM for the rest of that year and had an extensive
FBI file compiled on him for his active participation in revolutionary
activities against the government. During this time more than a dozen
of the people he was closely involved with were killed or went to prison.
It was only through divine intervention on several occasions that he survived
to return to graduate school.
He completed his Masters Degree and was then hired
by the U. S. Civil Service as a Race Relations Orientations Specialist
at Edwards Air Force Base in California (a little cosmic irony here.)
Robert enjoyed great success communicating with and fostering change in
the attitudes and belief systems of the base personnel he was teaching
but left that position in frustration over bureaucratic interference from
Base authorities who thought him too radical. A brief sojourn in
England rekindled his love of theater and he moved to Hollywood to pursue
an acting career.
Over the course of more than a decade pursuing
an acting career, he got very few parts of any consequence but was able
to play out fully the role of the "suffering artist", a perfect expression
for his own particular brand of Codependence which also gave ample opportunity
for him to fully pursue personal research in the area of substance abuse.
He played the role to the hilt in all areas of his life including earning
a living in the starving actor type of jobs: parking cars, driving cabs,
and waiting tables. Acting provided an invaluable emotional outlet
to explore and express feelings that would otherwise have been unacceptable
according to his childhood training and experiences. The personal
research of substance abuse almost killed him.
Robert was introduced to Twelve Step programs
through an intervention by his family on a trip home for the holidays.
He started his Twelve Step Recovery in January of 1984 and remained in
Nebraska for nine months. During this time he worked first in the
family care section of the treatment program which he had gone through
and then at a state mental hospital where he started to again utilize his
training and skills in communication and counseling. He returned
to Hollywood in the fall of 1984 convinced that his new found Spiritual
path would facilitate his quest for an Oscar nomination. When that
did not materialize in short order, he fled to South Lake Tahoe and went
to work in the poker room at a casino. The Universe however had other
plans for him and ended his career at the casino so that he could go to
work for the Alcoholism Council of the Sierra Nevadas. It was there
that he started to realize and deal with how Codependent he was in his
relationships with others.
When funding for his position ended, Robert returned
to Southern California and gave acting one last try. It was only
a short time however before he went to work in a Chemical Dependence Treatment
program in Pasadena. His work as first a counselor and then a therapist
there and at a subsequent treatment program facilitated and accelerated
his personal recovery process. In the spring of 1988, he had a major
emotional breakthrough in his recovery and gave himself the gift of entering
a thirty day treatment program for Codependence. Sierra Tucson Treatment
Center in Arizona was one of the first to pioneer treatment of Codependence
and it was there that he learned a great deal about the grieving process
and absorbed techniques and knowledge upon which he would later expand.
He also realized what a Codependent relationship
he had with the romance of Hollywood and upon completion of the program
promptly moved. After brief stays in Tucson and Sedona Arizona, he
lived in Taos, New Mexico, for a year until his Spiritual path led him
to Cambria, California. It was in Cambria that he began a private
practice specializing in Codependence Recovery and inner child healing.
During almost two years on the coast he became involved in a relationship
- a tribute to the healing he had done to overcome his terror of intimacy.
He and his new "family" (significant other and her daughter) moved back
to Taos. That relationship ended after two years. Robert remained
in Taos refining his practice for several more years before making a successful
trip to California in the winter of 1995 to raise funds to publish his
first book. He returned to Cambria to set up his publishing company,
Joy to You & Me Enterprises, in the fall of 1995.
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